How to Talk to Your Partner About an Unplanned Pregnancy

Finding out you’re pregnant unexpectedly can bring a rush of emotions—fear, shock, confusion, or even disbelief. When you’re in a relationship, one of the biggest decisions ahead is how to talk to your partner about the pregnancy.



You are not alone. Many couples face this situation every year, and conversations like this can be healthy, supportive, and even relationship-strengthening.

Abella Women’s Center can help you prepare for the conversation and make sure you feel heard and supported throughout the process.

1. Process Your Feelings First

Before telling your partner, take time to acknowledge your own emotions and needs. ACOG encourages emotional support and shared decision-making when navigating pregnancy conversations [1].

Ask yourself:

• How do I feel about the pregnancy?
  
  
• What do I need emotionally right now?
  
  
• What kind of support am I hoping for?
  
  

You don’t need to have all the answers first—just understanding your feelings can ease the conversation.

2. Choose the Right Time and Place

A private, calm environment helps both of you feel safe discussing something personal. APA research shows that difficult conversations go better when emotional safety and mutual respect are present [3].

Avoid bringing it up during:

• An argument
  
  
• Intense stress
  
  
• Work or social events
  
  
• Over text
  
  

Instead, try:

“There’s something important we need to talk about. Can we sit down later when we both have time?”

3. Be Honest and Direct

You don’t need the perfect words.

Using “I” statements helps you communicate your feelings without assuming theirs. Healthy communication is key in relationships according to the Office on Women’s Health [5].

Example:

“I just found out I’m pregnant. I’m still processing everything, and I want to talk about it together.”

4. Share Facts — Don’t Assume

It’s okay not to have all the answers. If you haven’t had a medical confirmation yet, Mayo Clinic recommends an evaluation to understand what is happening medically and emotionally [2].

You can discuss:

• What you know (test results, upcoming appointments)
  
  
• What you don’t know yet (ultrasound results, pregnancy viability)
  
  
• What you’re doing next (seeking information, booking an appointment)
  
  

Get clarity before making decisions

We offer medical-grade pregnancy testing and ultrasounds at no cost to confirm how far along you are. Schedule an appointment. 

5. Listen to Their Feelings

Your partner may feel shocked, scared, uncertain, or even supportive. The APA notes that open listening reduces stress and improves decision-making during major life changes [3].

Try:

“I want to hear how you feel too.”

Listening doesn’t mean agreeing—it means understanding.

6. Focus on Teamwork

You don’t have to figure everything out in one conversation. ACOG recommends shared decision-making—working together to decide what’s best [1].

You might say:

“We don’t have to choose anything today. Let’s take this one step at a time.”

7. Seek Support — You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

You may feel pressure to make a quick decision, but you deserve time, space, and accurate information.

Abella Women’s Clinic provides:

• Pregnancy testing
  
  
• Limited Ultrasounds
  
  
• Options consultations, including parenting, adoption, or abortion information [4]
  
  
• Community referrals and support

Abella Women’s Clinic in Quincy, Florida, is here to support you. Schedule a free and confidential appointment.

Sources:

1. American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG). “Shared decision-making in obstetric care.”
   
   
2. Mayo Clinic. “Pregnancy: What to expect in the first trimester.”
   
   
3. American Psychological Association (APA). “Managing stress during major life changes.”
   
   
4. Planned Parenthood. “Pregnancy options: abortion, adoption, and parenting.”
   
   
5. Office on Women’s Health (U.S. Department of Health & Human Services). “Healthy relationships and communication.”